Nicholas was just beginning to crawl a month ago. Now, he's pulling up on everything and even mustering up the courage to let go occasionally.
Jonathan's taking advanced classes in his sophomore year of high school and he's just become a licensed driver. Jennifer's growth has always been much slower paced. I love that I can't blink and miss her development. She get things in her own time and watching her grow is such a joy. Third grade has already become a challenge, but I just know she'll get it.
We're really focusing on plans for Jennifer's academic future. Currently, she is mainstreamed and pulled out for math and reading support. She has an aide that helps her during her in class math, writing, science and social studies time. We've pushed her aide away some to try and get a more accurate assessment of what all Jennifer can/cannot do independently. I already see that she's not able to maintain the focus needed for this crucial year. That being said, at what time do we have her aide begin helping more? I don't want her to fall behind just so we can prove a point.
I feel like every week I'm learning more about Jennifer and, therefore, want to make more appropriate accommodations for her. I, also, don't want to be one of those nagging parents that the school dreads.
Our situation is unique in that I'm not only a parent. I'm also a coworker. That leads to a whole new level of anxiety for me when I ask for things.
Am I asking too much? Is this really appropriate? Will this accommodation work in the classroom? Do my coworkers/friends think I'm nuts? Am I really doing everything I can for my daughter? Is she handling the work load okay? Am I asking too much of her? Is it time to back off? Is it time for modified curriculum? Will that mean a self contained classroom? As crazy as these questions may sound to some, these are the questions I ask myself every single day. These are the questions that haunt my dreams.
The only way I know to find the answers is to put Jennifer to the test. Her homework takes a while, but she's ready for the challenge and stays engaged. When I ask her if her work is too hard, she quickly tells me no. She wants to do the things her classmates are doing and usually tries her very best. She's a perfectionist and will not stop until she's got it right.
Since last school year, I have lived every single day with the fear of being told to put her on modified curriculum. I don't believe that a child so eager to learn should be sold short. One IQ test cannot give an accurate measurement of Jennifer. She is more than a stupid number!
I watch her strive every day to learn something new. She's excited about meeting milestones. She LOVES to read! These traits make me feel even more strongly that I'm not ready to stop challenging my daughter. She meets new challenges every day with a smile on her face. Does she find success on the path society had set? NO! Does she find it, though? Absolutely!
Although, I'm in the middle of one driving, one learning to walk and another learning to learn, I love my life! Being a mother is my greatest joy. Just like my children, some days I seem to conquer things faster than others. No matter what, I'm ready and eager to keep pushing and doing exactly what I need for all three of my babies.
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